Mostly bad jokes, videos and pix .

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet... to buy Degas... to make the Van Gogh"



See if you have De Gaulle to tell this joke to someone else.

I posted it here because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.

Haha. Even a redneck bilingualist like moi can get it!

The new Concentration game for old men.

Click Here

I managed to get it on the 4th try!

I never got one and it's not because those boobies bothered bothered bothered bothered me.

I got it on the second try...

If you get it ... it says you must be gay...
(I'm just posting that for Z's benefit cause he never got even one... )

After awhile I just ogled and selected the middle one figuring that sooner or later it would hit the jackpot.
Didn't work.

A husband and wife are shopping when the man picks up a case of beer and sticks in into the shopping cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife

'They're on sale, only $10.00 for 24 cans', he says

'Put them back. We can't afford it,' says the wife and they carry on shopping...

A few aisles later the woman picks up a $20.00 jar of face cream and sticks it into the cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the man.

'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' she says.

The man replies... 'SO DOES 24 CANS OF BEER AND IT'S HALF THE FUCKING PRICE'

I hate guy logic..

Underwear dust

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied ..'It's not talcum powder......It's 'Miracle Grow'

Cruel!

Deliverance..??

A psychiatrist was conducting group therapy with four young moms and their small children.

'You all have obsessions,' he observed. To the 1st mother, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.'

He turned to the 2nd mother, 'Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'

He turns to the 3rd mother. 'Your obsession is alcohol. This manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy.'



At this point, the 4th mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers .. Come on, Dick, we're leaving!'

Hehee.
I knew a guy who name his daughter Titswiggle Beatrice.